FishFood Magazine
FishFood Magazine

November 25, 2018

How To Do My Hair

Materials:

1 cup of hope 1 bottle of African Pride Hot Oil Treatment

A teaspoon of belief 3 combs

A brand new day 1 leave-in conditioner

(Side note: Depending on skill level other materials might be required)

Directions:

Take a brand new day

Mix 1 bushel of freshly washed and blow dried hair

Butter African Pride Hot Oil Treatment onto scalp

Knead until fingers look like you’ve eaten Popeye’s chicken

Slightly dust leave-in conditioner over top

(Side note: be sure not to over moisten or it will cause shrinkage)

Steam the oil and leave-in mixture under a shower cap until you forget

While waiting soak eyes with Pinterest

Then drench the mind with YouTube tutorials

Vigorously pour 1 cup of hope into mixture

Drizzle a teaspoon of belief 

Blend all the ingredients until a false reality is created

Peel away steaming shower cap

(CAUTION: MATERIALS MIGHT BE HOT!)

Marinate the YouTube hair tutorial in your mind

Gently try to recreate the video

Slowly toss in confusion

Churn in 3 broken combs

Beat in frustration until tender

Blacken the fake reality until truth colored 

Flambé the anger until it looks like Dante’s Inferno

Mist a prayer for sanity to lessen the flame

A dash of realization that you’re not good at hair

Wrap the hair with a scarf of your choice

(Side note: be sure to match the color and/or tone of the outfit)

Last garnish being late to whatever event you where getting ready for

And you will have created how to do my hair

Enjoy ☺

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Rebekah Thompson